Saturday, October 31, 2009

We are doing good here at home. Happy Halloween to all. Here is a new picture of Nicole who is now 5lbs 3ozs and 19 inches long now and 3 weeks old.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Nicole is home in our arms. She came home on Thursday 10-15 just a week after delivery. We were surprised but happy to take her home. She is doing well eating every 3-4 hours. Other then that she sleeps a lot. She is starting to have some wake periods though.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Nicole is off the c-packed machine and is only on some oxgyen through her nose and she is bottling feeding. We are hoping to get her off the IV today sometime. She doesn't have the feeding tube in here mouth anymore either. We are progressing nicely. Here is a recent picture when we were able to start to hold her.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

So since the last time I wrote. I have had our baby it was a girl her name is Nicole Anne she was born Oct. 8th at 3:56pm. Which was exactly 17 months after Justin passed. We landed up with having to have a emeregency c-section because when they gave me the cervic softener Nicole wasn't reacting to the contractions very well so her heart rate had come down so they just decided to do a c-section. She is doing good she is in the nicu and is on a breathing machine right now because she has fluid on her lungs still. But other then that she is looking good and is making noises. We are hoping to take her home in the next 3 weeks or so. I am here in the hosiptal until Monday Columbus day and then I will go home and we will keep coming back to see Nicole until she comes home. Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts.

Friday, October 2, 2009

2 more weeks

So I haven't written in awhile. There hasn't been much going on since the echo but in the last two weeks I have been here in Baystate. Last Monday September 28th I went into the obgyn office for an NST and the baby wasn't moving probably so they did a ultrasound and everything looked fine. But we were very nervous so they sent us over to Franklin Medical Center to make us feel better for some monitoring but while we were there the baby decelled and they got neverous and they sent me down here it Baystate. So I was here from Monday til Friday and went home and on Wednesday 9/30 I went for another NST and the baby still wasn't having the excelarations they wanted so they call Baystate again and told them that they would feel more comfortable if I was down here if there has to be any early delivery. So I am here in Baystate until I deliver which will be after the amnio to check lungs on Tuesday Oct. 13th so either being induced that day or the next depending on if i need more steriods to mature the lungs more. So that is what has been happening since I last wrote. Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Thursday, July 30, 2009


We had the other echo on Tuesday and it looks like the babies heart is doing fine. Other then that there is nothing else going on. We are just counting down there weeks until I might be induced.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


This is the update from 4 weeks ago. So two weeks ago we went to see the genetics counselor and a level 2 ultrasound. The genetics counselor just went over our histories of the families and the different types of chromosome problems that this baby might have. She said the only way to make sure this baby doesn't have a chromosome problem was an amino but I refused it because I didn't want to take the chance of losing this child too.
Then we had the ultrasound the cysts that they saw two weeks early on the brain has dissolved and disappeared. But they are still on concerned with the umbilical cord only have one blood vessel verse too. They high risk doctor came in and said that there is a little extra skin behind the neck but he isn't sure that is a sign of downs or not because of the way the baby was positions.
Today we had an echo of the baby and the heart looks good. But the baby was cooperating with the position to get the last image they needed so have to go back in 2 weeks. But they said that everything looks good from what they saw today. So we are happy but still nervous but I don't think the nerves will ever come down until this baby is born crying or breathing.
So I will update more in two weeks when I go back to the obgyn and have the other echo.

Monday, June 29, 2009


So two weeks ago we had an ultrasound that shows a small precentage of this baby having down syndrome. My 1st Trimester screen and AFPT have both come back normal. So tomorrow at 10 and 11 I will be in appointments with genetics and having a level 2 ultrasound. We will hopefully not have to do an anmino this early in the pregnancy I am 20 weeks right now. The midwife two weeks ago said it was a 0-1% chance but those numbers mean nothing to us. So another hurdle of life we have to get through. I think I am feeling this baby more then I did Justin but I am still not sure what I am feeling. So please keep us in your prayers for tomorrow and the nect 4 months of pregnancy. Thanks

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Long time no write

Hi all sorry I haven't blogged in awhile. I also haven't said anything about me being pregnant because I am scared and paranoid. I am 17 weeks pregnant and due in Nov. but will be induced early. We are trying to keep a postive attitude. Andrew thinks we are having a girl because when we went to the doctor on June 5th the baby was moving so much that the midwife was having a tough time getting the heartbeat. A friend of mine thinks we are having a boy who knows. I don't care has long as it comes out breathing and healthy. We have decided not to find out the sex with this child too because I am to scared that they are going to say it is a boy and that we won't be able to have him like we weren't able to keep Justin. So that is what have been up with us here. We have an ultrasound on Monday so we get to see the baby which I am excited about. We are going to my liver specialist tomorrow which is nerve wrecking but it is a check in I think to make sure enyzmes are ok and I am feeling good.
Talk to you all soon.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My Friend's Son

My friend's son is home and doing well. I am doing good too. Doing the same old thing day in and day out. Our support group leader started another support group for people that wants to have other child. The first one was last week and it was nice to talk about different things. Other then that nothing is really new.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

A Friend

I just got told today that one of my friends had a baby on Sunday and he is sick and they don't know why. He is in NICU. Please keep them in your prayers as they go through this hard times. She hoping to be able to maybe take him home on Saturday but knows.
We are doing good other wise. Going to work and then coming home and hanging out. We miss Justin a lot and will not be here in MA for his angelversary because we going to my parents in South Carolina to see them and my sister. We are excited to be taking this trip even if it is for a little bit of time.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Saturday Night

So on this past Saturday night a friend of mine and her son came up to visit. I was asked by her son, Jonathon, if we are going to have another baby, so I told him we are trying. Then his mom proceeded to tell me out of the blue one night that Jonathon told her that I was pregnant. I am not sure how he would know that before we would but it thinks I am. Then I asked him what I was going to have and he told me that I could decide what I wanted to have. It was really funny.
While being here in my house with us he ask my husband to go upstairs with him so he did. Then Jonathon proceed to ask where Justin's toys were so my husband told him that they are put away. So Jonathon continued to play with his legos after that not saying much about Justin until he went to brush his teeth when he asked my where Justin's toothbrush was. So I tryed to explain to him that Justin never came home with us. He also so some of Justin's pics on our computer screensaver. So he just continued with his teeth brushing and went back downstairs never talked about Justin again. But then again everytime I see Jonathan he does have another question or comment about how he misses Justin and was hoping to be able to play with him.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Today wasn't to bad going to work, but while at work I met a baby boy named Matthew. This got my thinking of what Justin would have looked like at that age of 2 months and it made me a little sad. We have another little boy named Dylan which is the same age as Justin would have been and it is nice to see him grow but also gets me thinking how Justin would be growing and learning new things. Life is a rollercoaster and there is a lot of triggers that makes me sad but I am not one to show it to people other then my family or close friends. I am looking forward to going to the support group tomorrow to talk to other people that are dealing with the same loss.

Monday, February 23, 2009

I was 37 weeks pregnant and everything looked good. Went in for an ultrasound the morning of May 8th and everything was fine to be induced the next day because of interhepatic choysistis of pregancy which couldn't be officially diaginoised. I went into labor that after and lost Justin at 5:05pm on May 8th. They don't really know why he passed away and the doctors say I have the same chance as everyone else to have another stillbirth. My husband and I are trying again to have a child but haven't been successful in getting pregnant. We miss Justin very much and talk about him to anyone that will listen.